a very colse employees wife has just lost a babe though still born bith the baby was full term.what can i do or say to them to show my simpathy.feel so much sorrow for them as they had to go through ivf treatment 2 have this baby.it it right 2 give flowers.what do i do.please give honest answers please.
Wot do u do or say 2 some 1 who%26#039;s just lost a baby.........?
I lost a baby myself and to be honest, no two days were the same for me, by that I mean, one day I would be grateful that people had asked how I was and showed sympathy for me, then the next I wanted to tell them to mind their own business (although I never did). From my personal experience I wouldn%26#039;t send a card, flowers etc as its not nice having those sort of things in the house to remind you of your lost child, instead I would politely say I am sorry for your loss, and if you need anything or want to talk I am here for you. Although they probably wont talk to you, the gesture of offering your time, will mean much more to then, plus you wont know which day you will be catching them on, so you are acting concerned and not nosey . Good luck its a very difficult subject.
Reply:Yeah i think flowers are a great idea. Just sympathise and show you care by being there when they need a hand or are finding it hard to cope. :) goodluck
Reply:Flowers are a good idea. Then just say sorry for their loss. Don%26#039;t try to say too much else. When you%26#039;re going through something and people say things like%26quot; i know how you feel%26quot;, it only makes them feel worse. Just tell them you care very much about them and that you are very sorry. Flowers are very appropriate.
Reply:Flowers are nice. Make sure to give them a big hug and tell them how sorry you are for their loss. Let them do the talking. You could also bring over a meal.
Reply:say sorry and try to get them out of the house and try to get there mind off of the baby thing mm like go out to eat or go to somwhere fun
Reply:Say exactly what you feel which is %26quot;There are no words to express the sorrow you must feel and that I feel for you, I am truly at a loss for words, but I am here for you when you are ready to talk.%26quot; Normal grief process with this kind of event is about 2 weeks. Then the survivor is ready to talk, which is, ironically when people start fading away as life returns to normal. Best thing you can do is be available. You%26#039;ll know, they%26#039;ll start talking, grab a box of Kleenex and listen and when you are both cried out, and you are comfortable, tell them you%26#039;ll be there for them again if they need to cry. If this persists to long however, they may need grief counseling. God Bless.
Reply:there is not lot you can do. just let them know that you are there for them when they need you. weather it%26#039;s to talk or go shopping for them. this is truly a heart breaking thing to deal with. good luck with this one.
Reply:there is not much you can say because unless you have experienced what they have you have no idea what to say!!
what i would do is just be there.. show affection in a form of a hug and wait until they say something.. sometimes the best thing you can say to someone is nothing at all!!!
Reply:Do they have a garden? Could you perhaps get a rose or flower that will come every year? With an appropriate name like %26quot;peace%26quot; or %26quot;hope%26quot; or something like that?
Or something that will flower around this time every year? They will never forget but they might look forward to the buds opening each anniversary or something?
In a small way it will give them something to focus on for a short while - planting it - watering it etc. and might give them comfort.??
You know best whether this is good idea or not. Best wishes.
Reply:course you can always confort the mom by saying that the kid is in heaven now.. etc
Reply:say i%26#039;m sorry and flowers.
Reply:You can express sympathy, but be careful about saying that you understand what they%26#039;re going through unless you actually went through the same thing. It is a terrible and tragic experience to lose a pregnancy. People take it very differently. Flowers are probably appreciated and are certainly an appropriate response (make sure the florist knows why you%26#039;re sending flowers so s/he puts the right arrangement together). Maybe offer to be there if they need anything or need to talk to anyone.
Good luck, and deepest sympathies to the parents.
Reply:This is going to be very difficult for her but a card with a little message inside saying that you thinking of her and flowers would be nice.
Reply:Flowers are a nice idea. Just be sure to tell them that you are very sorry for their loss. There%26#039;s not a whole lot you can do.
Reply:As someone who has lost a baby (also after infertility issues), there is nothing you can say and it%26#039;s mostly better not to try to conjure up something profound to say because nothing will make it better. Flowers are good and a basic sympathy card just to show you are thinking of them is probably the best and safest way to offer condolences. When it was me, I didn%26#039;t want to hear anyone try to compare my loss to one of their%26#039;s because my feelings were unique to me and my own loss. I appreciated cards that were simple and supportive. Hope it helps.
PS....However you do it, just DO it. It%26#039;s far worse to feel like no one is noticing your loss at all.
Reply:If I were you, I would sit down and write them a really nice letter. Tell them how you feel about what they are going through. Just let them know that you care and that you are there for them as a friend if they need someone to talk to.
Reply:Just be there for them, my wife had a still born as well
Reply:tell her to try again
Reply:Saying something, saying *anything*, is better than saying nothing.
Even if what you say is unintentionally hurtful (though well intentioned), it%26#039;s better than having the person feel alone and abandoned. Talking shows that you care.
Reply:Send a bouquet or plant with a note expressing you sympathy. Keep it short %26amp; leave out details. Just say %26quot;I are sorry for your loss%26quot;. It is very painful for people to ignore your loss as if stillborn means no baby. My sister %26amp; I have both had stillborns %26amp; the pain is very real.
Reply:give them a nice card and some flowers
Reply:I recantly lost a baby to cot death and there is nothing you can say to make her feel better if she wants to talk then she will you just need to give her time and space to come to terms with her loss.
Reply:tell them you are sorry - ask if they need to talk- ,do not tell them the baby is in a better place b/c the parents will never feel that way - you may want to take up a collection at work so they can bury the baby
Reply:In a time like this it is in my opinion best to keep it simple. I think flowers are a nice idea. If you are close to them, and if you mean it, send a card just saying how if they need help with anything, if they need someone to talk to, they can call you.
Just knowing somone is there in times like these is very thoughtful, and helpful.
Reply:tell them that you do not know how it feels, but you want to support them and are praying for them. tell them you are there for them if they want to talk or somebody to cry with. offer meals they can warm up in the microwave; offer them house cleaning; offer yourSELF. that will mean more than anything.
Reply:Well firstly don%26#039;t mention about babies to them and don%26#039;t point out or look at babies on the street and be sure not to say %26quot;Congratulations on the loss%26quot;.
The best thing you could do is to let her know you are totally there for her for whatever she needs or wants and make sure she knows this.
Don%26#039;t over do it though, not every time but at most times when you see/meet or speak to her, ask her if she needs any help with anything, no matter how big or small. If she ever says that she needs to do something then ask her if it%26#039;s something you can do for her.
You may also want to offer her ANY HELP at all with the baby%26#039;s funeral (if she%26#039;s having one).
Sorry to hear about her loss.
Reply:Don%26#039;t pretend to understand their loss, unless you have suffered like them, just be there to listen and hug them when they cry and try not to use remarks like your young enough to have another etc. This pain will never leave them.
There is a support group called SANDS (Stillbirth and Neonatal Death Society) who have support groups across the country run by bereaved parents their number is 020 7436 5881(helpline), 020 7436 7940(office) For the helpline support mail: helpline@uk-sands.org or www.uk-sands.org
Reply:You treat them as if the lost a child they loved for a lifetime, show the same respect and sense of loss. In fact their loss is greater because they never got the chance to know their child. Give them something to show remembrance, because so many will try to get them to forget.
Reply:don%26#039;t offer flowers they are sometimes given as a celebration, and write a note just saying you are thinking of them. this was the nicest thing that someone done for me. also bring meals for them, just knock with something hot, also shopping, and perhaps sanitory protection for the lady, as she will be needing this for some time and will not feel like getting this herself, quiet simple things like this will ensure you are looking after the couples basic needs, so they have time to grieve good luck, they are very lucky to have a friend like you!
Reebok
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